When Did You Last Reboot?
When something goes wrong with a technological tool, whether it’s your computer, WiFi, or phone - what is the first thing that anyone will ask you?
Have you restarted?
Did you check for updates?
Shut down, unplug, wait ten seconds, and then reboot.
I would say that this works, 9/10 times.
When was the last time you re-started? When is the last time that you checked in with yourself and identified what updates were necessary in your own life?
When, then, did you last shut down, unplug, wait ten seconds, and re-start?
If you’re anything like most people - it has probably been a while. For most, life has been incredibly challenging for a long time. We have lost loved ones. We have lost jobs, incomes, time with friends, hugs from family, and at times, we have lost our faith in others, our faith in humanity.
Yet, those of us who are lucky enough to do so, wake up every day and keep going, keep moving, and lately it feels like - keep suffering. Most of us have not stopped in a very long time. We have not taken our vacations, because there is nowhere to go. We have not missed a day of work, because we feel lucky to have a job and fearful of losing it. We have not created space to grieve, both the collective and personal losses that have occurred.
And I’m worried about all of us.
As someone who thinks a lot about well-being, manages people, and serves as a coach and a mindfulness practitioner, even I have put well-being on the backburner for some time - and if I have, then I know I’m not alone.
*Before I go on, it’s important to state this: the ideas I’m about to share are not available to everyone. There is an inherent privilege that comes with being able to stop, take a break, and create boundaries. And if you are able to do it, you must. And then, you must then get back to work, and take care of others, lessening the weight that others must carry.*
So, what can we do?
We can shut down. If I learned anything from my maternity leave in the fall of 2019, it was this - work will be there when you get back. If I learned anything from 2020, it was this - your toddler will be OK if you need to let them watch screen time so you can take a break. And, if I’ve learned anything from 2021 so far it is this - saying no is hard, but it’s the most necessary act of self-care that we can do.
We can unplug. When did doom-scrolling become a term? Have you done it? I know I have, and it never makes me feel better. It doesn’t inspire me to do more, to be better, or to help others more effectively. It exhausts and drains me. And that’s not good for anyone, myself or those around me that I so desperately want to support. So unplug. Whether it’s for an hour, or better yet, a weekend. Turn off the news. Stop scrolling Instagram. Read a novel. Create something. Get back to baking sourdough bread. Let your mind rest, and heal, so that tomorrow you can show up better.
Wait 10 seconds. In my coaching, I often encourage clients to take a pause before reacting. Breathe. Think. Wait. When is the last time you have taken a mindful breath? That email can wait. That task will be waiting for you tomorrow. You don’t need to have a difficult conversation right now if you’re not capable. Pause, so you can make sure you know what’s most important. Pause, so you can respond as your best self. Pause, because you deserve it.
We can reboot. What do you need to let go of? What do you need to say yes to? What needs to change in order to make your life work for you? In those moments of pause, imagine what is possible. Consider who you need to be. And then slowly come back. I read somewhere recently that if something isn’t a HECK YES! Then it needs to be a no. And as a wise colleague mentioned recently:
No is a sentence.
No is an answer.
No is a prayer.
Take care of yourself, loved ones. We need you.
How To Work From Home
I fall into a unique category of working people. I am both a long distance commuter and a remote worker. I live in Connecticut and work in New York City. On the days I am physically in the office (typically three per week), I commute two hours each way. On the days I am in CT, I work out of my home office. I understand what it takes to be successful in both an office and at home. As much of the world is quickly becoming more remote, I want to offer a few practices that have helped me work effectively outside of the office.
Call It Remote Work
When I lived in NYC and worked just four subway stops from my apartment, I would occasionally work from home, and this usually happened on Fridays, which tend to be slower. While I would always prioritize getting my work done, I would also throw in a load (or four) of laundry, take short breaks to organize my apartment, and create my grocery list while sitting on a conference call (kidding!). The point is: working from home on occasion is helpful to get things done around the house, while keeping up with your work. However, a shift must occur when working remotely - you are effectively trying to create as similar of a work environment to your regular office as possible.
Create Boundaries
When you are working remotely, setting boundaries is incredibly important. Decide what time you are going to start and end each day. These will most often just be your normal business hours, but they might not be, especially if you are caring for others while many schools and businesses are closed. Reflect your working hours on your shared calendar, so your team knows when to expect a response. When the clock strikes 9am - you are at work. Take a few deep breaths, set an intention to be fully present to your work, and leave all other things behind. Similarly, when it’s 5pm and you’re finished - be finished. It can be difficult to “turn off” when you are working at your house, so it’s important to think through how you can transition back to your non-work time. Power down your computer, turn off work notifications on your phone, and take a few deep breaths, re-setting your intention for the rest of your day.
Maximize Your Space
I am very lucky to have a home office, which allows me to shut a door and leave the rest of the house behind. I also know what it’s like to try to work out of a tiny NYC apartment. No matter your set-up, it is important to create as much of a dedicated space as possible. This might be at your kitchen table, on a TV tray in your living room, or on some corner of the floor. Do your best to find a space that is not your couch or your bed. Trust me: when you are unwinding with Netflix and a glass of pinot in the evening, you’ll be glad you’re not in the same spot you were when you had a lively debate about the upcoming sales cycle. Do your best to be intentional with what you’ve got.
Nurture Community From Afar
For many of us, being around people is important, so working remotely can become isolating. Be intentional about creating moments for human interactions - even if through video. Use this as an opportunity to get better at creating inclusive and interactive meetings. Self-organize virtual gatherings with your colleagues that mimic moments around the water cooler. Make it a point to connect with your colleagues to see how they are doing. During team meetings, ask a fun question - how are you going to repurpose your commute? What is your favorite emoji? What personal goals are you excited to make space for? Whatever it looks like - be intentional about nurturing your relationships with others, even if they look a little different for a while. And most importantly, don’t wait for someone else to get things started. Just connect!
Additional Tips
Get dressed. Most of us probably won’t need to totally dress up, but strike a balance between pajama bottoms and a pantsuit. You’ll usually find me in leggings, a nice top, and definitely bare feet.
Put your computer on a flat surface for Video Calls. Do your colleagues a favor and don’t use your hands or lap for conference calls - it looks shaky and is hard to pay attention.
Use time blocking to map out your day - both inside and outside of work hours. Instead of solely working off a to-do list, block out time-bound task time.
Remember tone - we all know that a lot can get loss in emails, texts, and writing in general. If you are not going to have in-person face-time with your colleagues, be extra mindful of your words, give people the benefit of the doubt, and don’t be afraid to talk through things that leave you questioning or worried.
Look away from the screen. In the office, we often take breaks from staring at the screen, even if just to walk to a conference room. Make sure to take screen breaks: read a work-related book, schedule a phone call, or sit and meditate for a few moments.