When Did You Last Reboot?

When something goes wrong with a technological tool, whether it’s your computer, WiFi, or phone - what is the first thing that anyone will ask you? 

Have you restarted? 

Did you check for updates?

Shut down, unplug, wait ten seconds, and then reboot. 

I would say that this works, 9/10 times. 

When was the last time you re-started? When is the last time that you checked in with yourself and identified what updates were necessary in your own life?

When, then, did you last shut down, unplug, wait ten seconds, and re-start? 

If you’re anything like most people - it has probably been a while. For most, life has been incredibly challenging for a long time. We have lost loved ones. We have lost jobs, incomes, time with friends, hugs from family, and at times, we have lost our faith in others, our faith in humanity. 

Yet, those of us who are lucky enough to do so, wake up every day and keep going, keep moving, and lately it feels like - keep suffering. Most of us have not stopped in a very long time. We have not taken our vacations, because there is nowhere to go. We have not missed a day of work, because we feel lucky to have a job and fearful of losing it. We have not created space to grieve, both the collective and personal losses that have occurred. 

And I’m worried about all of us. 

As someone who thinks a lot about well-being, manages people, and serves as a coach and a mindfulness practitioner, even I have put well-being on the backburner for some time - and if I have, then I know I’m not alone. 

*Before I go on, it’s important to state this: the ideas I’m about to share are not available to everyone. There is an inherent privilege that comes with being able to stop, take a break, and create boundaries. And if you are able to do it, you must. And then, you must then get back to work, and take care of others, lessening the weight that others must carry.* 

So, what can we do? 

We can shut down. If I learned anything from my maternity leave in the fall of 2019, it was this - work will be there when you get back. If I learned anything from 2020, it was this - your toddler will be OK if you need to let them watch screen time so you can take a break. And, if I’ve learned anything from 2021 so far it is this - saying no is hard, but it’s the most necessary act of self-care that we can do.

We can unplug. When did doom-scrolling become a term? Have you done it? I know I have, and it never makes me feel better. It doesn’t inspire me to do more, to be better, or to help others more effectively. It exhausts and drains me. And that’s not good for anyone, myself or those around me that I so desperately want to support. So unplug. Whether it’s for an hour, or better yet, a weekend. Turn off the news. Stop scrolling Instagram. Read a novel. Create something. Get back to baking sourdough bread. Let your mind rest, and heal, so that tomorrow you can show up better. 

Wait 10 seconds. In my coaching, I often encourage clients to take a pause before reacting. Breathe. Think. Wait. When is the last time you have taken a mindful breath? That email can wait. That task will be waiting for you tomorrow. You don’t need to have a difficult conversation right now if you’re not capable. Pause, so you can make sure you know what’s most important. Pause, so you can respond as your best self. Pause, because you deserve it. 

We can reboot. What do you need to let go of? What do you need to say yes to? What needs to change in order to make your life work for you? In those moments of pause, imagine what is possible. Consider who you need to be. And then slowly come back. I read somewhere recently that if something isn’t a HECK YES! Then it needs to be a no. And as a wise colleague mentioned recently: 

No is a sentence. 

No is an answer. 

No is a prayer. 

Take care of yourself, loved ones. We need you.